With the ever increasing popularity of online dating sites, prolonged youthfulness, and rising divorce rates, general casual dating is no longer a taboo for middle-aged women. Gone are those days when spinsterdom and affairs with “old maids” were shunned; now dating well after youth has become quite the norm.
However, with no dating tricks up your sleeve, it’s likely that you’ll get shut down even before you get to meet your date. Dating for middle-aged women may have got easier, but it may not be a breeze for someone who hasn’t dated in a long while.
Relax; we’ve got just the right tips to get you back in the dating scene once again.
Fun general casual dating tips for middle-aged women.
“Casual dating” is dating without the intent for a long commitment. People often do this type of dating for two reasons: 1. they don’t want anything serious right now. 2 they don’t want anything serious ever. Either reason is ok.
1. Stop worrying about your body: With casual dating there tends to be more focus on physical attraction than any other type of attraction (emotional, spiritual or mental). This can be tough if you haven’t thought much about your appearance in terms of marketability in many years, like I found. Seriously, nothing kills attraction as much as being overly self-conscious about one’s appearance. You turned over 40, so what? Maybe you have gained weight over the year (we all do face it) your skin may have gone wrinkly and/or your hair has turned gray. That doesn’t mean you are undatable.
Absolutely not! Girl, you’re perfect just the way you are, and there is no reason you should be afraid to show off your perfection to your date.
2. Don’t lie about your age: One of the biggest issues of online dating is that people can get away with lying about practically anything. While it may be tempting to drop your age down by few numbers, keep in mind that lying is never okay. A lot of women have the idea that all the guys are only attracted to younger girls, which is, of course, a lie.
In the online dating scene, you’ll find plenty of mature men attracted to women of their age. So, the last thing you need to worry about is being rejected for being too old.
3. Give people a chance: Look, we understand that you don’t want anything serious right now and want to see as many men as possible. And that’s okay because there’s plenty of proverbial fish available in the sea. However, you may have to lower your standards just a teeny tiny bit to get lots of dates with men who are fun to be around.
So what if the guy is bald. He may have mad skills in the bed to rock your world. You want to have fun, right? Then learn to see beyond someone’s first impression.
4. Be willing to listen: Believe it or not, men get shamed far too often for reasons that are beyond their control. Speak too much, and you come off as brash and arrogant; speak too little, and you’re shy and boring. The next time you go out with a man, take the initiative of making your date feel comfortable. Listen to the stories of his life and don’t shy away from throwing in the occasional praises too. You may find them talking a lot about their divorce. Listen, sympathize and then move on to fun dating talk.
Men deserve to be pampered as well from time to time you know. Kindness never goes out of fashion. Not even in the casual dating scene..
5. Keep money off the table: Ah, the thorny matter of money! Who wants to discuss this stuff when there is so much else happening? Money might be really important to you, but believe us when we say that it isn’t exactly a great date topic. You do not want to reinforce the false belief that middle-aged women are only interested in dating rich men.
6. Don’t put off sex for too long: Look, this is in the 1970s anymore, and you are not fresh in college. So unless you’re dating a 20 something-year-old, you shouldn’t consider playing along with the lines of “friends first” mantra. But that’s not to say we are suggesting that you jump on the bed on the first date, with a guy you’re barely attracted to.
I'm saying that don’t play mind games to get what you want by withholding sex. Besides, your goal is to have fun, isn’t it? So, what’s stopping you?
Ladies, the longer you think about restarting your dating life, the longer you’ll be alone. Just keep our tips in mind and put yourself out there in the scene. Soon enough you’ll find yourself full of confidence and dating men left and right.
7. Be aware of risks: Many people are afraid of casual dating because of STDs. Read up on the real odds of getting an STD in any form of relationship and then decide from a logical point what your risk tolerance is. Be up front with your history and have a talk planned and ready to go for the moment you need it. Make sure to be prepared with your own protection. Keep a condom in your wallet!
8. Be prepared to have your heart broken: I hate to mention this one, but often casual becomes not casual. Then that often becomes your first break up after a long marriage. That break up will be the most painful thing you ever felt since you are really mourning your marriage romance loss. Ouch, ouch, ouch. Just remember this has to happen as part of your post marriage recovery.